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Darwin Award Winner
Gangster Blues 1999 Brazil
A car chase in Sao Paulo was so similar to a Warner Brothers cartoon death that it had the bystanders laughing out loud. A police car was pursuing a car of gangsters, and both began to fire at each other. Suddenly, one of the gangsters had the bright idea to throw a grenade at the police car. He pulled the pin, cocked his arm, and in the heat of the chase, he threw the pin out of the car instead of the grenade. The policemen saw the man doing this, and stopped shooting to watch. The hand grenade exploded in the gangster's car, killing him instantly and wounding the other bandits. The laughter of the citizens, the policemen, and the television anchormen was a paean to natural justice.
Stupid Quotes
The fundamental problem with being poor is that you don't have enough money. (Arthur Levine, President of Teachers' College Columbia University.)
Reporter: Are you attending the Cannes film festival this year?
Singer Christina Aguilera: I hope so. Where is it being held this year?
Reporter: Mr. Secretary, has anyone asked you the whereabouts of Mr. Molotov?
Secretary of State Dean Rusk: No. No one has asked me that question. You can if
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you want to.
Reporter: Well, sir, where is Mr. Molotov?
Rusk: I haven't the faintest idea.
(Upon Rusk's return from a Moscow summit)
It wasn't a shark attack, but a shark accident. More than likely he ran into the swimmer's leg and got it caught in his mouth. (Joe Rubio, South Padre Island, Texas, town spokesman explaining away rumors that a woman had been attacked by a shark while swimming.)
My resume might make it look like I'm a job hopper, but I want you to know that I never left any of those jobs voluntarily.
I see the new Italian Navy. It's boats have glass bottoms so they can see the old Italian Navy. (Pete Secchia, when he was George H. W. Bush's nominee for U. S. Ambassador to Italy. He was approved by the Senate.)
Customer: How long will the pancakes be?
Waiter: Not long, They're usually pretty round.
Our nation must come together to unite. (President George W. Bush.)
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