Can Cold Water Clean Dishes?
  John went to visit his 90-year old grandfather in a secluded, rural area of Georgia. After spending a great evening chatting the night away, John's grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast. However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking, "Are these dishes clean?"
His grandfather replied, "They're as clean as cold water can get them. Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!"
For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, John was concerned about the plates as his appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, "Are you sure these plates are clean?"
Without looking up the old man said, "I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them Now don't you fret, I don't want to hear another word about it!"
Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather's dog started to growl, and wouldn't let him pass. John yelled and said, "Grandfather, your dog won't let me get to my car!"
Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV, the old man shouted…"COLDWATER, GO LAY DOWN!!!"

World's Stupidest Criminals
  In October, 1992 thieves stole a truck in South Yorkshire, England, that contained 43,000 cans of beer worth $50,000----but every single can was past it's expiration date.
Jan Mulder of Rotterdam Holland, was jailed in June 1995 for stopping young women in the street and asking for their pantyhose to use as a fan belt for his car. He didn't have a car.
An unnamed prisoner attempted to escape from Stafford prison in December 1993 using the classic method; a rope made of knotted sheets. All went well to start with, as he removed the grill and security bar from a vent in the fifth-floor lavatory, then

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